The Marth and Roy Cooking Show
by Tokyos Burning
Summary: What happens when you put two great warriors into a T.V. kitchen studio, make them cook on national television, and throw in the everyday special guest! MAYHEM, THAT'S WHAT! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
1. Lesson One

**HELLO AND WELCOME TO EPISODE ONE OF MARTH AND ROY'S COOKING SHOW! WOOT! ****It's really random yet it has a story behind it. Strange, huh? But yeah. Disclaimer...**

**Roy: BLAZE (a.k.a. Tokys Burning) DOESN'T OWN MARTH AND ROY! Or Fire Emblem.He don't own that either. He doesn't own Link, Zelda, the Mario Brothers, any of the poor pickachus mentioned in this episode (none were harmed in the making) Captin Falcon...or any other people we might of mentioned.**

**Link: YEAH! We all belong to Nintendo!**

**Mitsuko: I HELPED WRITE IT!**

**Blaze: Yes... she helped. She's my sister.**

**Mitsuko: The cake mix and igredients belong to me and Blaze though. Marth stole it all when I wasn't looking... grrrrrr...**

**Marth: CAN WE GET ON WITH IT ALL READY!**

* * *

**Lesson One: How to Properly Bake a Cake**

Lights dim in to reveal two young men standing in white aprons, which hang over their normal everyday armor and clothing.

Marth: Hello, and welcome to Marth and Roy's cooking show!  
Roy: Starring us!  
Marth: Um….. yes.  
Roy: Before we begin, we'd like to introduce our first special guest, Link!

The crowd goes wild as Link reluctantly steps out of the shadows. He gives a small smile and a little wave, and slowly walks up to Marth standing at the far end of the table. The crowd starts to settle.

Marth: quietly to Link I thought I told you to wear something other than that horrible green tunic and those tight-pants things!  
Link: quietly back to Marth Bite me! The worst you could possibly do is force me on here! And besides, your cooking tastes like sh-  
Roy: OKAY! Well, today, we'll be baking a cake with the help of our special guest, Link!  
Link: No we wouln't.  
Roy: Well, he seems eage- WHAT! What do you mean, NO?  
Marth: You bastard, why do you have to be so stubborn!

The crowd gasps as they here this fowl use of word play

Marth: UHHH... Um... we all love each other... eh heh heh...  
Roy and Link: --'  
Link: Geez... I try to be nice and this is what I get?

Crowd: AWWWWWWWW...

Marth: WHAT!  
Link: If you're going to be that way, I'm not going to help you!  
Marth: WHAT! YOU JUST SAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA HELP US ANYWAYS!  
Link: I changed my mind, but since you're going to be like that...  
Roy: Why can't you be nice, Marth? God!  
Marth: WHAAAAT!  
Roy: C'mon, Link! I'll be nice, unlike that Hylian hater over there...  
Link: Aw, your so nice

Crowd: AWWWWWWWW

-Fifteen Minutes Later-

Roy: Welcome back to The Marth and Roy Cooking Show, with special guest, LINK OF HYRULE!  
Link: Hey, buddy...  
Roy: We've had a.. Somewhat rough start... but now we're ready to actually get things going here!  
Marth: mumbling SOMEWHAT rough! That fool started it... everyone's against me... sigh  
Roy: Are we ready?

Crowd: WHOOOO!

Link: Yes  
Marth: Bite me.  
Roy: Alrighty then! First, preheat the oven to 345 degrees! Can you do that for me, Link?  
Link: I suppose so.  
Roy: Now I'll take out our BIG bowl, Marth, can you get me a spoon?  
Marth: Kiss my a-  
Link: I'll do it!  
Roy: Next, we'll mix it all together! First, the eggs.  
Marth: I'll get the stupid eggs...  
Roy: Next, I'll get the oil. Last is the milk. Link, can you get that?  
Link: Alright. walks over and opens the fridge OO?  
Marth: Give me the stupid bowl!  
Roy: Well, while Marth is mixing that, I'll flour the pan. First, you get a paper towel and LIGHTY dab a bit of oil on it and rub it around the pan. After you do that the- turns around OH GOD! WHAT THE--  
Marth: What the hell are you doing freak!  
Link: MIIILK! MYYY MIIILK! throws a metal spoon at Marth's head knocking him out.  
Roy: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! M…. MARTH!  
Link: RRRRAAAAGGGGHHH! jumps across room throwing silverware killing several audience members instantly.  
Roy:OH GOD NO! WA….. WAIT, I KNOW! presses a red button under the counter.

The ceiling tiles bust open and Mario and Luigi slide down on ropes

Mario: IT-SA-ME, MARI-BLAGH! A flying knife hits him in the head killing him instantly  
Luigi: MAMA-MOTHER-EFFING-MIA! runs out the door

Roy:now ducked under counter with pot on head Oh God, where did he go! I-I'm doomed! All I wanted was a cooking show, and now my first guest is going to kill me!  
Marth:Just woke upOh, my head…….. WH-what happened…. where am I? Wh-gets hit in the head again every thing goes black  
Roy: I'm doomed, were all doomed! Wait, why's it so quiet? gets up from behind the counter He's gone, but where?

WARNING! WARNING! HYLIAN IN THE VENTALATION SYSTEM!

Roy: This is unreal…….. He's gone crazy, but why? thinks back to when it started OH GOD THE MILK!  
Roy walks into the security office and sees Luigi crying in the corner and Captain Falcon (who happens to be the chief of security) sitting at a desk.  
Falcon: Mr. Roy, Luigi here tells me that his brother was knifed in the head by a crazed Hylian. Is this true?  
Roy: Yes, sir, sadly it is true.  
Falcon: Interesting…. and is that Hylian the same Hylian that has breached our ventilation systems?  
Roy: Yes, sir  
Falcon: Hmm, Luigi…  
Luigi: sniff sniff Y-yes sir?  
Falcon: Send in the pikachus.

-Ten Minutes Later-

Pikaforce1:ch,Pi-pika-pi-pi-pika,ch  
Pikaforce2:ch,pika-pi-pika-pika-pi-pi,ch  
pika force3:ch,pi-pi-pikachu,ch  
Falcon: Impressive, Isn't it Mr. Roy?  
Roy: Ye-yeah…..  
Falcon: Each pikaforce is made of 500 pikachus with one commander at there lead. The three commanders can communicate through the most high tech communication devices know to humans and apes.  
Roy: That's...nice….  
Falcon: Pikaforces, attack!  
Pikaforce1,2,3:ch,pi-pika,ch  
back at security station  
Falcon: It will only be a matter of time, just you wait.  
Roy: But what will they do when they find him?  
Falcon: Well, first they will try to restrain him using the tranquilizer guns mounted on there heads, and if that doesn't work, they will restrain him with a shotgun.  
Roy: Oh, ok... wait, what was that last part!  
pikaforce1:ch,pi-pi-pka-pika-pikachu(sir the first line has been breached, this fool is ether a genius or a psycho!)  
Falcon: Hm, that's strange.  
Roy: What did he say?  
Falcon: He said that every thing is fine.  
Pikaforce2:ch,PIKACHU-PI-PI-PIKA-PI-PIKACHU!(OH GOD HES BROKEN THROUGH THE SECOND LINE, NEARLY A THOUSEND OF OUR MEN ARE DOWN!)  
Falcon: N-no way!  
Roy: What!  
Falcon: NOTHING!  
Pikaforce3:ch,PIKACHU-PIKACHU-PI-PI-PIKA-PIKACHU-PIKABLEGH,CH(OH MOTHER OF MERCY HE'S UNSTOPABLE! HE'S KILLED EVERY ONE! I'M THE LAST ONE LEFT! WH-N-NO-NOOOOOBLEGH!)  
Falcon : In shock He...hes unhuman!  
Roy: What happened?  
Falcon: He's in the kitchen …

-In the kitchen-

Marth just woke up... again. Oh my head... what happened? Wait! It was that elf! Where's my sword!  
at this time Link bust through the ceiling with pikachus hanging out his mouth and a half drunk jug of milk in his hand  
Link:MMYYY MMIILLKKlooks at MarthYYOOUU CCAANNTT HHAAVVEE AANNYY!Lunges at Marth. Marth raises his sword and prepares  
to fight  
Marth: Die, foul beast!  
The door opens suddenly and a smooth calming voice calls out. "Link..." Link dodges Marth's attack and goes in for his own, but the voice hits him and brings him back to reality.  
Link:blinking Z-Zelda? turns around to see Zelda standing there.  
Link: H-howd you get here?  
Zelda: This young man told me you were causing trouble…(Roy's behind her grinning) so I came to pick you up.  
Link: Oh, man…….. What happened? I can't remember anything! looks around and sees the death and desolation around him  
Link: Oh…..oh God……. did I do this?  
Marth: If only you knew...  
Zelda: I-I think we should go Link….  
Link: Okay….  
Roy: Wait, come here Link! You to, Marth. This was our first helpful episode of Marth and Roy's kitchen.  
Marth: What?  
Roy: And we'd like to thank our special guest, Link, for showing us a, erm, wild time today.

Crowd: All dead

Marth: W-WHAT?  
Roy: Thank you and good night people!

**

* * *

**

**If you don't understand the whole concept of this, it's because in OoT, Link drank LOTS of Lon Lon milk and quite a bit of Ramani Ranch milk in Termina. Also, the younger part of Link in SSBM had a pose in which he basically pulled Lon Lon milk out of NOWHERE and chugged it down, so yeah. Some Zelda fans might recognize this at once, but then again, we are usually in our own little world **

**Lesson Two will be up very soon! Next we'll be featuring the Mario Brothers! YAY!**


	2. Lesson Two

**YEAH MAN! It's time for episode two of MARTH AND ROY'S COOKING SHOW!**

**Roy: This time it's the Mario Brothers!**

**Marth: Oh joy...**

**Blaze: (a.k.a. Tokyo's Burning) This time I wrote it on my own. No help from anybody.**

**Mario: starts jumping around and dive-bombing Luigi**

**Marth: Um... oh. Blaze doesn't own any of the Nintendo characters mentioned in this story, and he doesn't own Square Enix, either. Yeah...

* * *

Lesson Two: How to Obtain An Egg**

_Three, two, one, and were on._

Roy: Welcome once again to THE MARTH AND ROY COOKING SHOW!

Crowd: WOOOOO!

Marth: Yes, despite various lawsuits and court hearings, were back.

Crowd: YAAAAY!

Roy: Now let's get started. Today were going to make the great and wonderful chocolate chip cookies.

Marth : (mumbling) Not the way Peach makes them…

Roy: You say something?

Marth: No. So, tell us Roy, who are our special guests today?

Roy: Hm, Oh, there none other than the super Mario brothers!

Crowd: YAY! WOOOT!

Roy: Yes, and we would also like to thank our friends at Square Enix. Without them the older of the Mario brothers wouldn't be here due to, eh, difficulties in our last episode…..

Marth: Yes…. that phoenix down is some good stuff.

Roy: Now let's welcome our guests, THE MARIO BROTHERS!

_(jumping from the left of the room comes Mario, and the right of the room, Luigi.)_

Mario: HIYA!

Luigi: Hey…..

Roy: Welcome to the show! Today were making delicious chocolate chip cookies.

Mario+Luigi: (Not the way peach makes them.)

Roy: Did you say something?

Mario+Luigi: No.

Roy: So let's get started!

Marth: First preheat the oven to 350 degrease. Once you do that, get your cooking tools such as the ALMIGHTY bowl, and the spoon of JUSTICE!

Roy: Uh…. Oh….. read the instructions on the box or recipe card to decide what you're going to need. Today were going to use a premixed box because, well, I don't know it's easier I guess, so all were going to need are milk and eggs.

Marth: And, because the justice system won't let us get within ten feet of any type of milk, (aww….. I'm going to miss cow tipping), our special guest is going to get it for us.

Luigi: Ok…. (walks to the refrigerator and get the infamous milk.)

Roy: Ok, now, measure out one cup of milk. That's good…. now pour the milk you measured in the bowl.

Luigi: All done!

Marth: Alright, now we need two eggs. Mario, you can do that.

Mario: Uh, alrighty…. (walks to the fridge looks in and sees the eggs)

Roy: While he's doing that, I'll explain the basics of mixing, You can use a spoon or an electronic egg beater, unless told otherwise by the directions, I personally like the electronic beater… (looks at strange Mario) You damned plumber, WHAT'S WYOUR PROBLEM! Oh God…….. not again……..

_(looks over to see Mario sitting in the rafters of the ceiling with the eggs.)_

Marth: GIVE THEM BACK!

Mario: NEVER! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO COOK BABY CHICKENS! (starts to cry) I …I like chickens….

_(Mario jumps from the ceiling and runs out the door followed by Marth)_

Roy: He……. likes chickens….I just don't know any more. Oh, hey Luigi, so what do you think we should do?

Luigi: I think you should shoot out his kneecaps and then take the eggs away, but he's my brother so were just going to have to settle with tranquilizer darts.

Roy: (sighs) Again with the tranquilizer darts…..

_-Outside-_

_(Mario busts through the door followed by Marth, they run through the hallways of the Nintendo building at crazy speed. Mario comes to a dead end; He looks to his left, an elevator, no it'll take to long, to his right nothing but a window.)_

Marth: There's no where for you to go! Just give me the eggs, and NO ONE GETS HURT!

(Suddenly Mario lunges to his right crashing through the window.)

Marth: Damn it! (Follows)

_(They plummet to the ground bellow, the quiet of the building replaced with the noise of every day life in Tokyo. Mario hits the ground and looks around to find himself in the food court of the Nintendo building. Marth crashes through the glass ceiling above and lands a few feet away.)_

Marth: Damn you plumber! Give me the egg!

Mario: NEVER!

_(Marth lunges for him only for the agile Mario to jump away and run into the streets of Tokyo.)_

Marth: I give up, this is crazy….. ( hears a noise from above and looks up to see what it is, just as a assault chopper flys by)

Chopper: MARIO, PUT THE EGG DOWN!

Mario: NEVER!

Marth: I know the voice coming from the chopper… that's Fox McCloud!

Fox: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN EXCUSE TO GET THIS BABY OUT OF STORAGE! YEEE HAAA!

Roy: (sitting in the back seat next to Luigi), You know, we could just go to the store and get some more eggs….

Luigi: Na, it would be too easy, and not very fun.

Fox: Man he's fast for a fat guy; I'm calling for back up. –CH- Falco, come in, this is Fox! –CH-

Falco: -CH- Falco here! –CH-

Fox: -CH- You're going to have to send in the fast guys for this one! –CH-

Falco: -CH- 10/4! –CH-

_(Seconds after that, a blue and red blur pass underneath the chopper.)_

This is Sonic the Hedgehog reporting for duty!

Shadow the Hedgehog reporting for duty.

Sonic: What's the situation?

Fox: Mario has stolen some eggs and we need to get them back!

Shadow: Why don't you just go to the store?

Fox: That would be too easy.

Sonic: Understood.

_(With this, Sonic and Shadow accelerate to speeds unheard of, several cars and people are blown back as they break the sound barrier and tear down the rode at break neck speeds.)_

Fox :( left behind) Wow, that is fast!

Sonic: (Miles down the rode) Were could he have gone?

Shadow: There! looks to the top of a sky scraper to see Mario standing on top)

Sonic: Let's go!

_(They turn suddenly to run up the side of the building.)_

Mario: No, you wouln't get them! (starts to throw fire balls down the building)

Sonic: Heads up!

_(They swerve left and right to dodge the fire balls.)_

Sonic: Ahhh, this is what I'm talking about! This is kind of fun, eh, Shadow?

Shadow: I suppose it is—WATCH OUT!

Sonic :( looks up in time to see the fire) Gwaaaah!(and Sonic falls)

Shadow: You Bastard! This isn't a game antmore! (grabs flagpole of the side of the building)

(_As he begins the_ f_inal ascent, fire begins raining down. He cuts through the fire and, despite the burns, keeps moving. He hits the top of the building with such force he's thrown in the air, Mario looks up but the sun blinding him until a shadow appears. Mario trys to run, but it's to late. Shadow lands on him throwing him across the roof. Shadow comes at him the poll raised for attack , Mario doges the first attack with a roll and throws repeated fireballs at shadow, Shadow attacks again cutting through the fireballs while speeding towards Mario, Mario try's to dodge but his foot becomes lodged in an air conditioning vent. He looks up to see shadow, poll raised and then Mario close his eyes.)_

Shadow: Gaaaah!(goes in for the death blow)

Sonic: Shadow, stop!

Shadow: Wha, sonic?(Looks up to se sonic in Fox's chopper)

Sonic: They got me before I hit the ground. I'm perfectly fine.

Fox: Well take it from here shadow. (Shoots a net and scoops up the now passed out Mario in it)

Roy: Were going back to the Nintendo building, need a ride?

Shadow: Na, I'm going to the star bucks down the road, I'm needing a white chocolate latte' right about now……

Roy: I know how ya feel.

_(Back at the Nintendo buildings food court...)_

Marth: Ya know, these roast beef subs are pretty good…. (sees the chopper go by) Hmmm… seems like they're back.

(Back at the studio)

Roy: Back him up, a little more, good,drop him here. (Mario hits the floor)

Luigi: Poor, diluted fool……

Marth: (walks in) So, what did I miss?

Roy: Where have you been?

Marth: The food court was having a foods around the world day, so I sampled a bit.

Roy: ooo, did you get me any thing!

Marth: What kind of question is that? Of course I didn't.

Roy: You're so cruel……………

Marth: HEY! The camera's still on…………….

Roy: Aw, crap…. Well, we're out of time here. We'd like to thank our guests… the Mario Brothers!

Crowd: (At the food court trying the foods from around the world thing)

Roy: To good times!

Marth: And good subs.

This is the Marth and Roy cooking show saying good night!

* * *

**WOOT! That's chappy two. Next time it's Sora and Riku from Kingdom Hearts turn to guest show! WHOOT! See ya next time! READ AND REVIEW!**


	3. Lesson Three

**It ish now time for MARTH AND ROY EPISODE THREE! (does big cheesy grin) This episdode was written by Mitsuko and Sorachicken (our friend) Because Blaze (a.k.a. Tokyos burning) got lazy and didn't want to write another one...**

**Marth: Somebody help me...**

**Roy: (Hides behind Marth)**

**_Disclaimer_**

**Sora: (gulps down a SoBe No Fear energy drink (which we do not own) and takes a deep breath) Marth, Roy, Sora, Riku, Malon, Link, Zelda. Rabbit, Mario, Pooh Bear, Tarzan and anyone else we might havenot mentioned here but is in the story does not belong to Blaze, Mitsuko, or Sorachicken.**

**Riku: Yeah... we all either belong to Square Enix, Nintendo, or Disney.**

**Mitsuko+Sorachicken: (giggling while hiding behind door)**

**Sora: Huh? (looks)**

**Mitsu+Sorachick: (starts to chase Sora around)

* * *

****Lesson Three: How To Prepare Curry**

(Lights dim in, once again, to our two young heros now taking break from the battle field to prepare even more tasty goodies. The good news was that Mario was doing well in the hospital since there last, strange cooking demonstration show (that turned out ot be more focused on knocking out an isnane Mario...). The bad news was that it was time for a new show. And.. they had special guests to introduce.)

Crowd: (goes crazy)

Marth: Hello and welcome! Now it's time for another twisted episode of our cooking show!

Roy: Twisted?

Marth: Does this seem like a normal cooking show to you?

Roy: No...

Marth: Alright then. Now, for our special guests! AND THEY ARE --

Roy: Special guests? Wait... hold on.. who are they? You didn't tell me! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!

Marth: (grins)

Roy: (teary eyed) You son of a b--

Marth: PLEASE WELCOME TODAY'S SPECIAL GUESTS, SORA AND RIKU!

Sora: (dances on stage) YAY! HI guys!

Roy: Why hello there Sora! (does cute little wave)

Sora: (waves back)

Roy+Sora: (waving at each other like idiots)

Marth: Well this is productive...

Riku: (bursts out of window) I disagree!

Everyone: OO!

Sora: So... what're you guys cooking up tonight?

Roy: GOOD QUESTION!

Marth: no it's not...

Sora+Riku: oO?

Marth: --;;

Roy: oO?

Sora+Riku: --;;

(akward five minute silence)

Crickets: (chirping)

Marth: (smashes hands down on table)

Everyone: (wakes up)

Marth: Alrighty then. Today... we are making curry.

Crowd: (goes crazy)

Marth: Yeeeeess... so, Sora, Riku, let's begin. Can you get me some vegtables?

Riku: WHAT! You morons, I thought you were gonna FEED us!

Sora: (throwing vegetables around) Hear you go darling!

Marth: Er... thanks.

Shadow: Mister Pudding Pants...

Sora: AHHH! AHHH! It's HIM! HELP ME! (jumps on Marth's head)

Marth: You little twit! I thought you were brave!

Sora: They bring in a stunt double for the scawwy parts.

Marth: OO! --;

Roy: oO? Okay then...

Riku: AUGH! I'm hungry!

Marth: WELL HELP US COOK SOMETHING!

Riku: Hmph.

Marth: Grrrrrrrrr...

Roy+Sora: Okay...

Roy: So, Sora, next for the curry, we need...

Sora: Meat!

Roy: Yes! BEEF!

Sora: Okay... (walks over twards refrigorator while Roy pulls out a big pot)

Marth+Riku: (argueing in the back)

Roy: (looks over after noticing the audience starting to laugh) Hm? HEY! You guys, can we PLEASE have a normal cooking show for once?

Marth: WELL HE'S THE FOOL WHO WOULN'T COOK!

Riku: I don't WANT to cook I want to EAT!

Marth: I SAID ON THE STUPID THING I SENT YOU THAT WE WOULD BE COOKING! IT'S A FREAGGIN COOKING SHOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Marth+Riku: (starts biting each other's heads off)

Roy: (backs away slowly) --;;

Sora: (sighs) (opens fridgerator door to find... HEARTLESS!)

Marth: (with soggy head) You fool. BEEF! Not Heartless! (slams door to fridge)

Sora: Beef is cow, right?

Roy: Si!

Sora: Okay. I'll be right back...

Roy: SO!

Sora: I'm back!

Everyone: OO!

Marth: Where's the beef?

Sora: (pulls rope)

Cow: (walks in)  
Riku: (smacks self in face)

Marth: Wha --

Sora:

Cow: Moo.

Audience: (trying to stiffle laughs from the boy's sheer strike of stupidity)

Roy: Ah... say, um, Sora... where EXACTLY did you get that cooooooow?

Sora: Well, there was this one girl...

(Almost suddenly, the studio doors fly open, hitting the walls at such extreme that the door knobs dug into the wall and the door stayed wide opened. In between the two doors was one, angry, red-faced red-headed hylian girl...)

Sora: EEP... her...

Marth+Roy: Oooooo...

Malon: You little BASTARD! How DARE YOU TRY TO USE MY COW FOR FOOD!

Sora: O.O!

Riku: Who... is that?

Marth+Roy: (hiding under counter) Malon...

Cow: Moo.

Malon: MY BAAABY! RAAAAAAAAAWR! (lunges after Sora)

Sora: O.O! AUUUUUUUUGH!

Malon: (gets caught in mid air and roped around the feet and hands and starts getting dragged back to the door. By now the audience is dying in laughter.)

Roy+Marth+Riku+Sora: (looks up)

(Everyone looks back at the door to see Link and Zelda holding the ropes and dragging a pissed Malon back.)

Link: Heh... uh.. sorry about this... you know how she is about her cows...

Marth+Roy: (shudders)

Zelda: Hehe... uh... (spots Sora) Hey, you, boy.. can we have that cow back?

Sora: YES! YOU CAN HAVE HER!

Cow: (walks back to Malon)

Malon: MY BABY! (sits on cow) GO COW, GO! (gallops off down the hall)

Everyone: oO?

Link: (cough) Well, uh... sorry about that... (walks off)

Zelda: Wait for MEEEEEEEEEE! (runs after him)

Audience: (bursts out laughing even harder)

Roy: Is she gone?

Riku: Yeah...

Marth: (sigh) Crazy moron elves...

Roy: So let us get back to cooking! Next we need fresh vegetables!

(all of a sudden, a banana runs through the stage)

Banana: OH DEAR! OH MY! PLEASE HELP!

Sora: (laughs) Here we go again.

Marth: What the shell is happening?

Tarzan: (bursts through wall) BANANA! There you are! RAWR! (chases banana)

Banana: AHHH! HELP!

Sora: Oh no. After Tarzan comes Pooh Bear! HEY! That reminds me! That gay bunny dude has a garden! I'll steal vegetables from him!

Marth: NO WAIT! WE HAVE SOME IN THE---

Sora: (already gone)

Marth: fridge... --

Riku: (watches as Tarzan, the bananna, and now Pooh who has just burst through the ceiling on his baloon of impending doom floats down with an evil laugh) Oh God... here we go...

Roy: (gets real close to Marth) Remind me why EXACTLY we invited non-Nintendo related guests!

Marth: Er... uh, Riku, how do we make it go away?

Riku: (laughs)

Marth+Roy: Uhhhhh...

(Almost suddenly, as if to get the show into even more trouble, an insane Mario still strapped onto the bed and some how up and running on his feet, foaming at the mouth, jumps through the window)

Mario: RRRAaaarrawaWWWRarrrRWRHLUYGGAHhhahayetyuRAWR! (foamy mouth)

Crowd: (screams)

Roy: OO! EEP! (hides under table)

Riku: oO? Uh... what... er...

Marth: (slaps self in face) Why? WHY!

(suddenly, the doctors in white coats and huge syringes run through the studio door, followed by a tired, freaked Luigi)

Doctor: IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MEDICINE, MARIO!

Mario: RAAAAAAAWR! RAaaaWWRArarWWWAAAARRRrrrr!

Luigi: A MAMA MIA!

Tarzan: (chasing bananna)

Mario: RRAaaaaWWaaaWWWRRRR-- eh? (sees bannana) REWWAAARR! (grabs bananna and bites it in half and eats it)

Tarzan: OO! BANNANA!

Riku+Marth+Roy: ... (disturbed)

Pooh: (running around in circles) oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother oh bother...

Mario: (swings on the lighting up above everyone like a monkey and rips a lightbulb out of a light socket)

Pooh: OH BOTHER OH BOTHER OH BOTH—(runs into wall and is knocked out cold)

Sora: (comes through the door) I GOT SOME VEGGIES! Uh... (sees chaos)

Rabbit: (bursts through fireplace)

Marth: DOESN'T ANYONE USE THE DOOR ANYMORE!

Rabbit: THAT BOY! GIVE ME MY VEGETABLES SORA!

Sora: (sticks tongue out at rabbit)

Rabbit: MY WORD! (sees Banana in Mario's hand) Ah don't mind if I do. (takes remains of Banana and eats it)

Mario+Tarzan: (eyes wild with rage) GAAARRR! (attacks rabbit)

Rabbit: (screams)

Mario: (lunges at Rabbit and bites him, giving Rabbit rabbies)

Rabbit: O-O! RRRRraaaaawWWWWWTaTRWEghj,sdliulyig&rygiIUYGUIGUIL! (foamy mouth)

Mario: (throws lightbulb at Tarzan and knocks him out) (screaming)

Sora: O.O! (backs up a bit disturbed and hides behind Riku)

Marth: -- (sigh) Well, this is lovely... Roy...

Roy: Yes?

Marth: Get me the shotgun...

Roy: Heh heh heh... (looks for shotgun)

(one minute later)

Roy: Can't find it, Marth!

Marth: Grrrr... WELL! BUT OF COURSE! OUR SPECIAL GUESTS ARE HERE FOR A REASON!

Sora+Riku: THAT'S RIGHT!

Roy+Marth: (throw Sora+Riku at Rabbit and Mario)

Sora: (squeals)

Riku: TT Darn you Marth and Roy... never invite me to dinner again...

Marth+Roy: (on ceiling planks)

Marth: This'll be entertaining...

Roy: YEAH! COME ON! FIGHT YOU FOOLS! (throws peanuts at fools)

Sora: (summons Keyblade and goes for Rabbit) DIE, YOU! RAWR!

Rabbit: oO? OH MY! OH MY OH MY OH MY! (starts hopping around like the idiot he is)

Riku: Hmmm.. (spots Mario swinging around like a monkey on the ceiling) Well... (looks around and finds the shotgun on top of the refrigorator) Idiots... hold on a sec... (walks off)

Sora: (chases Rabbit out of the building) Well, that's taken care of -- oh? (watches as Mario starts to swing towards Marth and Roy and laughs)

Roy: Uh.. Marth?

Marth: What?

Roy: (points at Mario who is swinging at them at a million miles per hour)

Marth: oO? Well damn... hmm... got a knife in that back pocket of yours, Roy?

Roy: No time. He's flying at us pretty fast.

Marth: Yeah, you're probably right.

Roy: Yeah...

Marth: ... WAIT! If there's enough time to go on talking like this, how come there isn't enough time to get out a knife?

Roy: Because this is a PG skit and we're not supposed to get violent on this show. Otherwise, we're cancelled.

Marth: Ah. I see now. By the way, nice shirt.

Roy: Thanks. My Granny made it.

Sora: (watching them) This, a PG show? They're kidding, right? Wait.. HEY! WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING? HE'S COMING! WHERE'S RIKU?

(meanwhile, somewhere in the studio...)

Riku: Hey... can I use a couple tranquilizing darts there?

Dude in white coat: What for?

Riku: Mario, that insane itallian plumber...

Dude in white coat: Oh, well, sure! Here...

(back in the show room)

Marth: (kicking a rabies infested Mario back) BACK! BACK, YOU!

Mario: RRRRRRRRRRRAaaaaaaaaaadghwuitTUIEKMfchjvyrI&RIQTUY! (foams)

Roy: I wonder what he's saying…..

Marth: Oh, about that... he's actually cussing, but they use random words instead because it's...

Roy: Ah... the PG thing again. Wait. Didn't you just swear a few lines ago?

Marth: Hmmm... I hope the critics will let that slip.  
Roy: Whatever...

Sora: Ooooo... looky that, Mario's going in for them again... (spots Riku running through the door) Where in God's name have you been?

Riku: (grins) (shows him darts)

Sora: Oooooooooo...

Riku: (loads gun and aims) Ok... ready.. aim... FIRE!

an insane mario starts to calm down...

Mario: A... a... ma...ma... mi... aaaaaaaaaaaaa... (falls and hits the floor)

Dudes in white jackets: HUT HUT HUT HUT! (picks Mario up and straps him to stretcher)

Marth: WELL... AH HAHA! Today's show has been very productive, but now it's time to go! (starts shoving Sora and Riku out door)

Riku: HEY! I'M STILL HUNGRY!

Sora: Yeah! We do all this work for you, and we don't get any food!

Roy: Ta-ta! (small waves at Sora+Riku)

Sora: (waves back)

Riku: What? WHAAAAAAAAT?

Marth+Roy: (sees people of the audience being rushed to the hospital) AHAHAHAHA... (starts pushing Sora+Riku out even harder)

Roy: B... BYE!

Sora: BYE!

Riku: You guys SUCK!

Marth+Roy: (closes doors)

Marth: Well, uh, this has been another episode of Marth and Roy's cooking show... without the cooking... how bad is the death toll this time, Roy?

Roy: (nervous) Well... uh... oh man...

Marth: GOOD NIGHT, FOLKS! (runs off to help medics)

* * *

**WOO HOO! That was episode three! I have no idea who will appear next time, so it'll be a surprise! YAY!**

**Sorachicken: (Does funky chicken dance)**

**See ya next time! Read and review!**


End file.
